Raising Santana
by nydivaa0x
Summary: this is based very very loosely off of the movie Raising Helen w/ Kate Hudson - After high school, Santana made an effort to distance herself from everything Lima. But tragedy strikes and all that effort is wasted. Brittana OR Quinntana, not sure yet
1. Chapter 1

**This story is based very very loosely on the movie 'Raising Helen' with Kate Hudson. **

**I don't own anything. Hope people like ;]**

Santana Lopez was used to people leaving her. She was used to the heartbreak and the disappointment. Her father left when she was just three leaving her mother to raise three daughters by herself. That same mother dove head first into a lifestyle filled with partying, drugs and alcohol.

Santana was basically raised by her sister Maria, who was just about 10 years older than her.

Despite the absence of an actual mother or father, her childhood wasn't always terrible. Sure, there wasn't any magical and memorable trips to Disney World or anything but all things considered it could have been so much worse. However, it was the lessons learned from her parents that caused Santana to put up a wall in an effort to prevent future heartbreak and disappointment.

The first layer of that same wall was ripped down when Santana was around 8 years old. She was in school and met Brittany Pierce for the first time. All it took was a simple smile from the blonde haired, blue eyed girl. From then on, Santana found the one person she knew wouldn't disappoint her. Or so she thought.

From the time they were 8 to the time in high school, Brittany and Santana were a packaged deal. They were inseparable and shared a lot of moments with each other. In the 7th grade, the girls shared their first kiss. Brittany initiated it one day while the two were at the park. She simply leaned in, quickly pressed their lips together, and then smiled while commenting on tasting Santana's chapstick. Santana didn't think anything of it and just smiled and hugged her best friend.

When they started high school, the two rose to the top of the food chain alongside Quinn Fabray. They kept up a good front in the halls of the high school but stayed true to their old selves when they were alone together. One night after a party, Santana and Brittany had sex for the first time. The next morning the two shook it off as a result of too much alcohol and linked pinkies like nothing ever happened.

Slowly over time, less and less alcohol was involved when it came to them having sex. It became a regular occurrence and somewhere along the line, it changed everything for Santana. She realized that she was in love with Brittany at the end of her junior year and spent the whole summer with her. She had an extremely hard time coming out yet pushed everything the fears aside for Brittany. Their fellow members of their high school glee club welcomed them with open arms after the announcement but the rest of the school wasn't as friendly.

As graduation came closer, life was beginning to become more real for Santana. She was going off to New York and Brittany was staying in McKinely one more year in hopes of raising her grades and getting into a school in New York.

Despite the distance, Santana and Brittany kept in contact during the first year. That was until about February. Brittany started to get busier and Santana didn't know why. It wasn't until a few weeks later when Santana got a call from Noah, who had also stayed in Lima. He told her that he saw Brittany fooling around with some guy. Santana couldn't believe it.

She finally confronted Brittany who didn't deny it. She stated that the long distance wasn't working for her and she just couldn't do it anymore.

And that was what broke Santana. The one person she thought was different ended up disappointing her just like everyone else.

Santana made an effort to distance herself as far as possible from anything related to her past in Lima, Ohio. She still spoke to Maria and ignored her other sister. And the only people she talked to from high school was Kurt, Blaine and Rachel because they were in New York, too, and Noah.

After college, she found almost no problem finding a job at a local newspaper and pretty soon she was working for the New York Times. She was pretty damn proud of herself. She wrote amazing articles and got to attend some of the hottest parties in the city. The hottest parties also equated to having the hottest people and it was almost impossible for Santana not to bring home a girl for the night after one of them. The very next morning the same girl was gone and Santana went on with her life as normal. It was the perfect life.

One night changed all of that.

Santana had just made it back to her apartment with some girl who she really had no intention of caring enough to ask her name. They were in the process of ripping each other's clothes off when Santana phone rang. She looked at the clock and saw that it was almost 2:30 in the morning. The girl mentioned that many she should take the call.

Santana would always be haunted by that phone call.

"_Hello?" She said in a very frustrated tone. _

"_Santana." It was her other sister, Alexis. She wasn't someone that Santana expected to hear from and she immediately knew that something was wrong._

"_What is it?" Santana said trying to cut the small talk._

"_It's um….Maria. She and John…." She trailed on as Santana could hear that she was struggling. _

"_They what, Alexis?"_

"_They were in an accident, San. They didn't make it."_

Santana went on autopilot after hearing that. She actually apologized to her one night stand before she kicked her out for the night. Alexis gave her all the details and Santana began planning the trip back home. The trip she never wanted to make again for a reason that she never thought would happen.

**Also, I'm kind of torn as to whether I want this to be a Brittana story or a Quinntana story. So for whoever reviews, if you want let me know what you want to see. **

**=) **


	2. Chapter 2

"_Flight attendants please prepare for landing."_

The pilot's voice echoed through the airplane and Santana let out a frustrated sigh.

"Going home?" The older woman next to her asked nicely after hearing the girl's reaction.

"I guess you could say that." Santana offered back as she looked around. She saw adults sleeping or anxiously waiting the landing. The children were excitedly playing with whatever souvenirs they bought during their time in New York or their eyes were glued outside the window as the shapes and colors they saw transformed into buildings and roads.

"You know I heard once that homecoming means coming home to what is in your heart. I went to New York to see some old friends but Ohio is where my family is, where my heart is." The woman said with a smile and a nod.

"I'm glad you are going back to your family." Santana offered up a smile desperately trying to rely the message that she wasn't interested in talking any further. The woman thankfully got the message and went back to looking out the window.

As the passengers were departing the plane after landing, the old woman from before offered one more smile towards Santana.

"I hope this homecoming is a good one for your heart." She said before heading in the other direction. Santana laughed bitterly at how that woman didn't even know the half about this so-called homecoming.

Santana headed to get her luggage and was met by the conflicted face of Noah Puckerman. Given the circumstances, sadness washed over his face yet there was a slight tint of happiness to see one of his closest friends again.

"Hey, San." He said before leaning in to hug her. "I'm so sorry." He said into her ear as she nodded.

"You look different without the Mohawk." She said with a smile before heading out towards his car.

"Well just because it's gone, doesn't mean I'm any less Puckzilla then I was before."

"Yeah sure, sure." Santana teased as the got into his car. "I appreciate you letting me stay with you. God knows I wouldn't be able to handle Alexis and her family. But are you sure that Lauren won't mind."

"It's the least I could do and she's fine with it. She's looking forward to seeing you. We ran into Alexis at the store like 2 weeks ago and she kept going on and on about how her kids were so smart and talented and all that so I'd be cruel if I didn't offer up my guest room."

Alexis was always stuck up and walked around with a chip on her shoulder. She was the first of the sisters to get married and have kids. She immediately equated that to her being better than the other two. Her level of annoyingness was so high that it actually made Rachel Berry seem tolerable.

"Wow, hasn't really changed much here, huh?" Santana said after they finally made their way back into Lima.

"Not really. You should see McKinely. It's basically like we never left. Will stills wears nothing but vests and Sue just bought a cannon that shoots 4 people at a time."

"How would you know?" Santana asked genuinely curious.

"I help out with the football team whenever I'm not on duty at the firehouse."

"Oh." Santana said a little upset that she didn't know anything about this. "How's the team doing?"

"Not bad. Well, I mean they could literally just stand on the field and they'd probably be better than the team when we were there."

"You guys weren't so bad when you unleashed your inner Sasha Fierce." The two laughed at the memory.

"Um, I think mostly everyone from the Glee club is home. They all know even you know, her." Puck winced as the pronoun slipped out of his mouth. It was better than saying her actual name but still.

"That's good. I guess it'll be nice to see everyone despite the circumstances."

They pulled up to Puck's house. He parked the car and then got Santana's bags from the trunk. They walked up to the front door and it was opened before Puck could even get his key. Behind the door was a very different looking Lauren Zizes. She was much thinner and even had some blonde streaks in her hair.

"Wow, Lauren." Santana said taking in the girl's appearance. The same girl who she once called an endangered white rhino.

"Hey, hey. Lespez, don't be checking out my girl now." Puck teased as Lauren just shook her head and pulled Santana in for a hug.

"Nice to see you, Poppin Fresh." Santana whispered into her ear.

"Nice to see you too, Satan." Lauren laughed as she pulled away. "I'm sorry about your sister. I wish this was under better circumstances." She said sincerely and Santana just smiled sadly before nodding.

"Well, I better call Alexis and get that over with." Santana said heading towards the front door.

"How's she doing?" Lauren asked looking at her boyfriend.

"You know Santana. She's all tough and shit. I don't think the realization has actually hit her yet. I mean it hasn't really even hit me yet so I can only imagine what it's doing for her."

"Did you mention that all the glee clubbers will be there?" Puck nodded to the question. "How do you think that's going to go?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. It's only seeing Brittany that I'm worried about. I mean now that she's single again maybe this will be a good thing."

"You honestly think they belong together don't you?" Lauren asked and Puck thought for a second before he nodded.

Before they could go further into the topic, Santana opened the door and immediately rolled her eyes.

"She's unbelievable. I couldn't get a word in. You would think that she's planning a wedding not a funeral. But I have to meet up with her tomorrow to discuss some things."

"We are going to go out for some drinks tonight with some of the glee members and catch up. Rachel sent out one of those annoying mass emails." Lauren said. Santana rolled her eyes at the mention of Rachel and Lauren laughed. "You want to come?"

"Thanks, but I think I'm just going to hang here if that's okay. I'm not really ready for any reunion besides I have to get up early tomorrow."

"No, I understand totally."

"Besides, S, you won't miss much. It'll literally be 3 hours of Rachel chewing our ears off while she talks about the latest Broadway revival she's in while the rest of us take turns pretending to listen while the others down shots." Puck added.

"Trust me, I get enough of Rachel those few times I see her in New York. But I didn't know you guys all met here. Do you do that a lot?" Santana said.

"Most of them come home around the holidays so whenever we can we'd meet and just catch up." Lauren said and Santana just nodded before looking down. She had mixed feelings about the whole situation. While she was in New York, Lima was out of sight and out of mind but now that she was actually back she kind of felt guilty.

"Well, S, as you know mi casa es tu casa so do whatever you want." Puck said with a smile and Santana laughed at his attempt at Spanish.

"We will probably be heading out in an hour. You still have some time to reconsider." Lauren winked before she headed into her bedroom.

"I'm not coming."

"I know, didn't expect you to. I know you have a lot going on. Maybe before you head back to New York?" Noah asked hopefully.

"Maybe." Santana whispered.

"Should I say anything to her?" Puck caused cautiously and Santana looked up at him.

"There's nothing to say. She probably expects all this praise for coming despite everything we've been through." Santana laughed bitterly. "She doesn't deserve to know anything about me. I have enough to deal with."

Puck decided to drop the topic seeing that the wounds Brittany left on Santana were still very much fresh.

About an hour later, Santana announced that she was going to sleep while Puck and Lauren informed her that they were going to be leaving in a couple of minutes.

Once at the bar, Puck and Lauren could immediately hear Rachel talking and knew they were in the right place.

"Puck!" Sam, Finn and Mike all yelled out when they saw him entering. He immediately grabbed a beer and gravitated towards the boys as Lauren went towards the girls.

The girls were drinking their fruity drinks while the boys downed beers and caught up.

"So how's Santana doing?" Mercedes finally asked Lauren.

Brittany, who had remained relatively quiet and very much sober while the girls chatted, finally became interested in the conversation when she heard her ex's name.

"She seems fine. But then again you never know what's going on in her head." Everyone agreed on this point. "She's back at our house sleeping. We invited her out but obviously it's not really appropriate."

Everyone agreed and the conversation went off in another direction. However, Brittany's mind stayed focus on the Latina. She was wondering how she was feeling and how she was doing. She hated herself in that moment because she knew how close Santana was to her sister and yet because of her choices in the past she truly had no right to be the one comforting Santana.

Quinn noticed the confliction that was written on Brittany's face.

"Hey, you okay?" She whispered into the girl's ear.

"I want to go see her." Brittany let out and Quinn immediately shook her head.

"Britt, I understand where you are coming from but I don't think that that's a good idea right now."

"Why, Quinn? She's alone at Puck's house right now and you know how she gets when things happened. For all we know, she could be getting drunk or…."

"I'll go." Quinn interrupted the blonde's panic. She needed to stop Brittany because what she was saying just made her angry. She hadn't been in contact with Santana in a couple of years but she knew that Brittany had broken her when she left. In that moment, Quinn saw the love that was present in Brittany's eyes as she worried about the Latina and she knew that if Brittany went to comfort her tonight that it would be like lighting a match. Santana needed time. She needed the wake and the funeral and some time to grieve before Brittany was added into the mix. "Britt, it's not a good time right now. I'll go and check on her for you. Okay?"

Brittany shook her head and smiled at Quinn before downing one of the shots that was on the table. Quinn excused herself from the group and approached Puck. She explained the situation and he informed her as to where the spare key was hidden outside. Quinn hugged him before leaving. It took about 20 minutes for her to get to Lauren and Puck's house and less than another 2 minutes before she was inside and approaching the guest room.

She cautiously opened the door and sure enough, Santana was sitting on the bed with a bottle of Jack Daniel's in hand. The bottle was nearly half finished and Quinn just sighed as she took in her friend's appearance.

"What the fuck do you want, Fabray?" She slurred out with a bitter laugh.

"San, give me that." She tried to take the bottle out of her hand.

"You aren't my mother, Quinn. Leave me alone."

"Santana." Quinn whispered out pleadingly. Santana looked from Quinn to the bottle before taking another sip.

"Want some?" She offered up with a smile and Quinn rolled her eyes. "What, Q? Isn't this a fucking celebration? I'm back in Lima the place where shitty things happen." Quinn wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or just the circumstances that was making Santana cry but she couldn't help the scene from causing her heart to break a little bit.

She moved closer to Santana before pulling her into a hug. The girl resisted a little bit more she finally gave in a broke down even further on Quinn's shoulder. Quinn took this moment on vulnerability to loosen Santana's grip on the bottle and she placed it over on the table beside the bed.

"I'm so sorry, S." She whispered into the girl's ear. Santana regained her composure a little bit before she broke out of Quinn's grasp.

Santana looked into Quinn's eyes. "Los Angeles has really been good to you, Q." She slurred out before placing her hand on Quinn's leg. "So good." She whispered out seductively before she leaned into kiss Quinn.

Quinn gave in at first. That was until Santana's mouth open a little wider and Quinn could fully taste the alcohol she had just consumed. Quinn placed her hands on Santana's shoulders and pushed her away.

"What the fuck, Q?"

"Don't what the fuck me, Santana. You can't deal this way. I know, okay? Puck told me everything." She said sternly and Santana began to look at the ground. "When Brittany left, you spiraled out of control. And here you are doing exactly the same thing."

"Don't fucking bring her up. What she and I went through has nothing to do with anything right now. My sister and her husband are dead, Quinn. My fucked up life just got more shitty."

"Alcohol isn't going to fix this, San. I'm sorry but neither is trying to numb your pain and loneliness by sleeping with someone. You need to realize that you have people here for you and who care about you. You have me and everyone else from high school. We know why you pushed us away but we are here now and always will be. And whether you like it or not so is Brittany. She's the reason I am here right now."

"Oh, what? Was she too busy drinking and getting with everything that moved to come here herself?" Santana spat out bitterly.

"She wasn't drunk, Santana. She wanted to come here herself but I didn't think it was the right time. She knew about how you reacted to the breakup and she was worried."

"She has no fucking right to be worried and it's never going to be the right time."

"God, you're stubborn. I'm not going to argue with you about this. You need to hear her out and you need to let all of us help you. You aren't alone, San."

"I've been fine all these years alone, Quinn."

"Have you really, San?" Quinn responded back in somewhat of a sarcastic tone while she looked at the girl dead in her eyes.

"I have to be up early tomorrow. So it's probably best if you leave now." Santana said simply after a few moments of silence.

"Fine but I hope you know that I'm not going anywhere."

"Of course, I do because it would be too good to be true if you did."

"I'll let that one slide, Lopez, since I know you are still a bit drunk." Quinn said looking at the girl. She turned to leave but then retreated and walked towards Santana before enveloping her in a tight embrace. "Please, don't drink anymore." She whispered before pulling away. She offered up a tiny wave before walking out the door.

Santana sat down on the bed and had a staring contest with the bottle of Jack Daniel's as her thoughts raced inside her head.

"Fuck Quinn. Fuck Brittany. Fuck Lima. Fuck everything." She said as she reached for the bottle and began to drink a little more.

Within about an hour, she was asleep on the bed with only an empty bottle beside her. Her dreams were filled with scenes of when times were better and were the complete opposite from the reality that she was living.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Thanks for the response on Chapter 1. Hope everyone likes this chapter. Still a bit torn on the whole Brittana vs. Quinntana thing although I do think that I may have a winner in my head already. Well anyways, thanks again and I'd love to hear feedback and suggestions ;D**


	3. Chapter 3

Santana woke up with an excruciatingly bad headache and a bit of a sore neck courtesy of the Jack Daniel's bottle that she had somehow mistaken for a pillow during the night.

"Fuck." She breathed out as she looked at her clock. She had about an hour until she had to meet with her sister. She just headed towards the bathroom and took a shower. She was ready in less than 30 minutes.

When Santana made her way downstairs, she noticed that Lauren and Puck weren't around so she figured they were still sleeping. She took out a piece of paper and scribbled a little note for them.

**Went to meet up w/ Alexis…see you later. xx** **S**

Santana decided to walk to the funeral home because it was in Lima after all and pretty much everything was in walking distance in this shitty town. Also, she figured the fresh air may help her with her hangover.

Twenty minutes and a slightly better headache later, she made it to the funeral.

She thought about how her grandparents, Quinn's grandmother, Brittany's father, Sue Sylvester's sister, the local barber…..everyone in Lima was waked here. She took a deep breath before walking inside.

She walked to the main office and looked inside. She immediately saw Maria and John's children: Karissa, 16; Adam, 14 and Madison, 8. Her heart broke at the sight of the three.

Madison immediately ran up and hugged her aunt tightly.

"Aunt S…..I've missed you so much." She said and Santana clearly saw that the little girl didn't understand the severity of the situation.

"I've missed you, too, honey." She said before releasing the hug and her focus went to the two older ones. "I um….." She started but she honestly didn't know what to say.

The two just nodded with some tears in their eyes as they approached Santana. They shared a hug.

"Where's Alexis?" Santana asked.

"I don't know. She and Uncle Derek um went into the back with that creepy guy who works here a couple of minutes ago." Karissa said as she sat back down.

"Oh." Santana said as she headed towards another seat. There was no way in hell she was going to find Alexis so she just grabbed Madison and placed the little girl on her lap as she tried to consul her nieces and nephew.

"God, Santana." She heard after a couple of minutes. She looked up to see Alexis clutching a tissue with Derek a few steps behind her.

Santana didn't say anything. She just picked McKenzie up and placed her on the seat before she went over to hug her other sister. Alexis cried silently into Santana's shoulder and the situation was starting to become a reality.

"You've gotten so skinny, San." Alexis finally with her typical mother like tone.

"Don't listen to her, San. You look fine." Derek said trying to sway the attention.

"She's just jealous." Santana teased and earned a light laugh from everyone as she went to hug her brother-in-law.

"I'm so sorry to see you again under these circumstances." He said into her ear.

"Me, too. It's uh…it's pretty surreal I guess." She said as they parted and the older gentleman who owned the funeral parlor came in.

At this point, Maria and John's three children left the room and went to get pizza at the pizzeria next door. The man went on to explain the procedures and it was revealed that the wakes would be held the following night. Santana really didn't listen because she knew that Alexis would just take over everything anyway so there wasn't really any point.

About an hour later, everything was done and Alexis invited Santana to go back to her home for dinner. Santana agreed since she really didn't want to be surrounding by Puck and Lauren's sympathetic eyes and it would give her a chance to catch up with her sister.

Alexis prepared a really great meal and Santana knew that what the girl lacked in tolerability she made up for in cooking. Afterwards, her children and Maria's went off upstairs and Derek cleaned up. Santana and Alexis took their coffees and went onto to deck in the back.

"This is crazy, isn't it?" Alexis said with a bitter laugh as the settled at the table on the deck.

"Yeah, I guess it hasn't really hit me yet." Santana said as she light a cigarette.

"Um I contacted as much of John's family as I could….you know, cousins and all that. It just pains me because his parents are gone and he had no siblings."

"Have you contacted Mom?" Santana asked.

"Yeah, she said she would fly in tomorrow but she probably won't. I mean she's lucky if she even knows what day it is." Alexis said and Santana just rolled her eyes knowing it was the truth. "So how are things in New York?" Alexis asked and Santana read her to see if she genuinely was interested or just desperately wanted a conversation change to distract her.

"Um, great. Everything's great there."

"Derek and I have read some of your articles online….so I can tell they are great career-wise."

"Yep. And how are things with you? I can't believe how big your kids have gotten….hell, how big all the kids have gotten."

"Well, it has been a long time since you've been here. And everything is good here."

They kept up a light conversation before Santana announced that she should probably go.

"I'll tell Noah to spread the word about the wake times and all that." She said sadly once more.

"Are you sure you want to stay there? I mean the door's always opened here for you."

"I appreciate that, Lex. I do. But you seem to have a full house." She said and Alexis nodded understandably.

Santana said her goodbyes to the kids and to Derek before she walked to Noah's which of course wasn't that far away.

She got to the house and saw a car in front of their house that definitely wasn't either of theirs. As soon as she opened the door, Santana heard some voices coming from the kitchen. It took her about 5 seconds to realize that those voices belonged to Quinn, Kurt and Blaine.

"Hey, guys." She said making her way into the room. The conversation that the three guests were having with Lauren and Puck immediately stopped as their attention went to Santana.

"San…." Puck started.

"Is Berry here?" Santana said looking around to see if there were any other guests. Mainly she was trying to subtly find out if Brittany was there.

"No, she's at with her dads." Blaine said with a light smile.

"Good. Long time no see you two." Santana said to Kurt and Blaine. She was clearly joking since she had just seen the couple less than 4 days before all of this happened.

"How are you doing, San? We are so….." Kurt started but Santana waved him off.

"I know, you are sorry. I'm okay, really." She said. She honestly had to keep it together for the sake of her nieces and nephew and for her other sister. "Since you all are here, I guess it's a good time to let you know that the wake's tomorrow from 3 to 5 and then from 7 to 9. If you could spread the word, that'd be great." She said.

"I'm on it." Kurt said sadly as he relayed the messaged to as many as he could through text.

"Thanks. I'm going to go change." Santana said in Puck and Lauren's direction as if to ask permission and the two nodded before she excused herself.

"God, I wish there was something we could do." Blaine said as the group felt their hearts breaking as they knew Santana was most likely suffering in silence.

"Remember Sue's sisters funeral?" The group nodded as Kurt continued. "Perhaps, we could all sing for this one, too."

"I'm not really sure that's a good idea." Puck said a little hesitantly. "I mean I get when we sang for Jean's because Sue was afraid that no one would come and we were an actual club back then but now I just think it'd bring back everything that Santana has been distancing herself from."

"She needs to know that we are here for her." Quinn finally said.

"She's right and it'll be good for the kids. And besides, we'll probably sound 100 times better than any church choir could." Kurt said once more as everyone just kind of shrugged.

"I'll mention it to her but don't get your hopes up." Puck said.

Kurt was satisfied with that and the 5 began a light conversation before Quinn went to excuse herself. It had been about 20 minutes since Santana went to go change so she was kind of curious as to whether she was avoiding everyone.

Quinn knocked lightly on the door and opened it to see Santana laying on the bed looking at a book.

"Hey." Quinn said quietly as Santana's attention shifted for just a moment.

"Alexis…she uh must of put this in my bag when I wasn't looking." Santana said as she showed Quinn the cover of the book. Quinn immediately recognized it. It was a book that Maria gave to Santana when she was about 8 or 9. Santana, Quinn and Brittany always used to read it together when they all first met each other.

"Wow, I remember this. Remember when Puck stole it from Brittany during one lunch period and you damn near castrated him on the spot." Quinn laughed lightly as Santana joined her nodding her head at the memory.

"I'm sorry about last night." Santana finally said.

"I know you are. But remember, I'm flattered but I'm not that into that." Quinn said with a wink as she repeated the words that she had said moments before Santana came out to her in their hotel room during Nationals. Santana laughed before her head dropped down and she focused on her hands.

"I just don't know how to deal with this right now, Quinn." She said in a whisper and Quinn nodded understandably. "I feel like I'm some sort of robot."

"Everyone deals with things differently, San. I know that you're feeling about a hundred different emotions right now and no one is going to look at you differently if you act out those emotions. And no, I don't mean by punching things or killing someone." Quinn said hoping that Santana would realize that drinking and anger aren't the most proper forms of grieving.

"I have to be strong for Maria's kids though. I mean Madison she doesn't even understand what is going on."

"So then explain it to her."

"No, not me. I'll let Alexis do it."

"San, we all know and have known for years that Maria's kids adore you way more than Alexis. Every tolerates her but you know no one really likes her. She's exactly like Rachel. So it should come from you." Quinn said and Santana started to laugh because Quinn was thinking exactly what she always does.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Oh, you didn't hear this from me, but Kurt wants the Glee clubbers to sing at the funeral. He mentioned it a few minutes ago and Puck said he'd ask you so I guess I'm just giving you a heads up."

"I don't see why not." Santana said with a shrug.

"Well again, you didn't hear from me." Quinn said before pulling Santana in for a hug. "You're going to get through this, okay? We are all here for you." She whispered into Santana's ear as the girl nodded in acknowledgment.

"Thanks, Q. But really, I'm fine." Quinn rolled her eyes before breaking the hug.

"Yeah, I know. Can you do me a favor though?" Quinn said causing Santana to look her in the eyes. "I know you have a lot going on but could you possibly hear Brittany out before you head back to New York?" Santana cringed at the name.

"I don't know if I can, Q. I just don't know." Santana said softly.

"Fair enough. But at least think about it, please. Worst case scenario you just head back to New York and never speak to her again which you've been doing a good job of these past 5 years." Santana shrugged yet again and Quinn decided to deem that action as progress from the night before. "Well, I better head back outside before they think I'm shitting or something." Quinn said as Santana started to laugh hysterically. "What? God, I don't want them to think that. Are you coming back out?"

"Um no, I think I'm just going to stay in here for a bit longer. Long day tomorrow and all." Quinn understood and hugged Santana once more.

"Stay away from the alcohol tonight, please?" Quinn said before she turned to leave. Santana just looked down at the book that she had been reading before Quinn came in. As she flipped through the pages, she noticed a picture was wedged in between two towards the end. She looked at the picture, which was that of Quinn, Brittany and Santana when they were just about 9. Santana smiled at the picture but then that smile faded as she realized that the three of them had virtually turned into strangers.

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**Thanks to those who have read this. I've finally decided on it the pairing for this story. Hope everyone enjoys :]**


	4. Chapter 4

Santana woke up the next morning around 10:30. She remembered that Puck was working this morning as she made her way to the kitchen. She saw Lauren at the table with the paper in her hands.

"Morning, Lauren." Santana said as she made her way over to the fridge.

"Hey, San." She said looking up from the paper.

"Anything exciting going on in Lima news?"

"Nothing at all. Just like every week there's about a 5 page spread on the Cheerios followed by another 2 pages of Sue just talking about things and people she finds offensive." Lauren said as the two rolled their eyes.

"Some things never change, huh?" Santana said and Lauren nodded.

"So how are you holding up?" She finally asked and Santana opened her mouth to say something but was quickly stopped. "I know you are going to say fine and all that crap just remember that you and I are very similar so I know that you're lying."

"Truthfully?" Santana asked and Lauren nodded her head encouragingly. "I'll be a hell of a lot better once today and tomorrow are over."

"Understandable. Do you need anything though…like a ride later or something?"

"No thanks. I'm used to walking everywhere in New York so I don't mind it. Besides it helps clear my head."

"Okay. Well, I think Noah gets out of work around 3 so we'll be there for both services today."

"Thanks. That means a lot. Well, um I'm going to go upstairs and get ready. Gotta meet up with everyone around 1."

Once upstairs, Santana showered and changed her clothes. She decided to take a longer route to the funeral home. She took some time to really think about everything. Her sister was dead…it was finally starting to hit her. She walked past McKinley High and a flood of emotions overcame her.

Santana honestly couldn't wait until all this was over. She knew that in 2 days she and Alexis would have to sit down for the reading of the wills. She figured after that she'd spend another 2 or 3 days or so in Lima and then head back to New York.

Santana walked into the funeral parlor and immediately heard a voice that she hadn't heard in years.

"I know….it's just tragic. I'm so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Lopez." The woman replied with a bit of a whimper and Santana balled her hands into a tight fist. In an effort to avoid making a scene, she decided to head back outside and wait until everyone else arrived.

About 20 minutes later, Alexis and her family along with Maria and John's children all arrived.

"San, why aren't you inside?" Alexis asked.

"Because I don't have that much self control." Santana said and Alexis, Karissa and Derek all looked at each other. "We have a guest."

"She showed?" Alexis asked and Santana just simply nodded.

"She's inside crying to the owner."

"Shit. Did she see you?" Santana just simply nodded.

"Who's here?" Karissa asked before reaching down to pick Madison up.

Alexis tried to but failed miserably at mouthing the phrase 'your grandmother.' Karissa had to ask her about 3 times to repeat it before Santana finally interrupted.

"Abuela." She stated and Karissa simply nodded. She hadn't seen her grandmother since she was about 9 so she appearance didn't really phase her.

"Grandma's here?" Madison asked. Her face light up with a mixture of innocence and excitement.

"Yeah, Maddie, she is." Karissa said sadly to the little girl who still clearly didn't understand what was going on.

Karissa, Madison, Adam and Alexis's children all headed into the funeral home. Derek followed in close behind them giving Santana and Alexis some time together while Santana finished a cigarette.

"So how are you doing?" Santana asked despite the fact that she absolutely hated when people asked that. She saw some tears leave her sister's eyes and felt compelled to ask.

"I've definitely been better." She said with a sad smile. "Now let's go get this over with, okay?"

They walked inside and were met by the owner who walked them through what was planned for the day. They made their way into the room and found two closed caskets at the front. Karissa sat with Madison in the front row while Adam stayed near Alexis's two sons. Derek was looking at all the flower arraignments and their mother was seated in the corner. It was clear that she wasn't exactly in the best state of mind.

"Santana! Alexis!" She called out as she slowly tried to manage her way towards her two daughters.

"Mom! Are you drunk?" Alexis said in a whisper through gritted teeth. She ushered her mother into the hallway and Santana followed.

"I'm not…I was, well I am. But can you blame me? It's not everyday you bury your own daughter."

Santana huffed at this. She wasn't surprised that her mother came actually because it was an opportunity for attention to be on her and for people to feel badly for her.

"The only thing that makes us your daughters is blood. As far as I'm concerned, Oprah is more my mother than you are." Santana said and Alexis tried to calm her down a little bit.

"Oh, Santana, you are just like your father." This seemed to make Santana even more pissed but she let it pass given their surroundings.

"Speaking of, where is he?" Alexis asked.

"Beats the hell out of me. Last time I saw him was a couple of months ago. We met in New York but I haven't spoken to him since. You know, we like to do our own thing."

"Yeah, that's for sure." Alexis muttered.

"Santana, while we were in New York, we read some of your articles. I'm so proud." She slurred out and it almost came off as sarcastic. At this point, Santana had enough and she decided to go back into the other room. "What is the matter with her? It was a compliment."

"Mom, just please, I beg you, don't make a scene. There's enough going on and we don't need anymore." Alexis said as she followed the path Santana took.

Once back inside, she noticed Santana was with Madison.

"Aunty S, why is my mommy and daddy's picture next to those boxes?" She asked from her position on Santana's lap. Santana figured that she should take Quinn's advice and explain to the little girl what happened. She took a deep breath before answering.

"Mad, did anyone explain to you what's been going on?"

"I don't know. Maybe….Aunt Alexis was talking to me when I was at her house the other day but Aunty S, whenever she talks to me I never really listen." She said the last part in a whisper and Santana just smiled at her.

"Honey, you remember when your mommy bought you that bunny a couple of years ago?" Madison nodded. "Well, remember how that bunny got sick after a few years and we had to say goodbye to him?"

"Mommy said that it was his time but that I could get a new one."

"Yes, she did. But the reason we had that memorial for him was because he died and he went to heaven. And that's why were are here today…."

"To member my bunny?" She asked curiously.

"No, sweetie. I wish that was why we were here but it's because your mommy and daddy went to heaven and are with your bunny right now….." Santana trailed on hoping that the girl would understand. She immediately saw Madison's face fall and it took everything in her not to break right then and there. .

"So it was their time…." She said repeating what her mother had told her.

"Yes. They were in an accident the other night and they….."

"But I don't want to get a new mommy and daddy." She exclaimed and Santana didn't understand at first.

"No, honey, it's not like that. Your mom and dad will never be replaced. I know that they are gone and that it may be a bit confusing for you to understand but no one will ever take their place. And by remembering what they taught you and things that you did together, you'll make sure that they never are."

"I miss them." Madison said simply and Santana nodded her head.

"I do, too. But you know even though you can't see them anymore, that doesn't mean that they are gone completely. They are angels now and they'll make sure to always watch out for you."

Madison just nodded as a few tears fell from her face. She quickly grabbed Santana and pulled her into a hug. At this point, a few tears escaped from Santana's eyes as she held the little girl tighter. Karissa was approaching and soon joined them on the couch.

"She knows?" She mouthed and Santana nodded sadly. Karissa just grabbed Santana's free hand and gave it a light squeeze. The action voiced what Karissa wanted to say. She wanted to thank Santana for doing what she was so afraid to do.

"Aunty S.." Madison finally said after a few moment. "I know that you said that my mommy and daddy can't be replaced but if they could, I would want you."

Santana smiled sadly at the girl. It was at that moment that Santana became aware of the fact that someone needed to take care of the three kids from now on. Naturally, Alexis would be given custody. Santana knew Maria wasn't stupid enough to give her that responsibility. Alexis was the embodiment of a mother. The only thing that Santana had over her was the fact that Maria raised Santana and that she had experience. Experience in the sense that Santana had been through so much throughout her life and managed to get over it and she had also managed to get out of Lima.

After a couple of moments, Santana excused herself and made her way over to her sister.

"Before I forget, everyone from the glee club I was in in high school want to sing at the funeral tomorrow….would that be okay?" Santana asked.

"Yeah, that would be great. I've seen the church's usual singer and I'm honestly surprised she hasn't died yet. But anyways, we have to start getting ready because it's almost 3." She said as everyone began to take their deep breaths to compose themselves.

The doors were open and slow streams of people made their way in. Pretty soon there was a huge crowd of people in the room and it was filled with the sounds of light conversations.

Santana stayed with Madison on the couch off to the side. Karissa and Adam were surrounded by some of their closest friends while Alexis and Derek stayed in the first row. Her mother was off mingling with people but would occasionally disappear into the bathroom. Santana assumed she was probably whipping out her flask or something classy like that.

"I don't know anyone here." Madison said quietly looking into the crowds.

"Yeah, I don't either kid."

"Lopez." Santana heard and she looked up to see none other than Sue Sylvester.

"Sue." Santana said as she stood up to greet her former coach.

"I'm so sorry about your sister. I know how much she meant to you." Sue said uncharacteristically nice as she leaned in to hug Santana.

"Thanks, Coach. I appreciate you coming."

"Of course. If there's anything you need, don't hesitate to ask. I hope to see you around sometimes under better circumstances." Sue said before she excused herself.

"See you know someone…." Madison stated as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Correction, I knew her….she was my cheerleading coach." Santana informed the girl and she smiled when she saw Madison's mouth drop open.

"Crazy cannon lady?" Santana smiled at this and nodded. She used to tell Karissa stories from her high school experiences and Madison would always listen on. She decided to tell some other crazy Sue Sylvester stories until someone caught Madison's eye.

At the same moment, Santana noticed that her former Glee club members were all entering. Sam's mouth entered before everyone else. Santana searched the crowd for anyone that she could distract herself with but sadly, everyone else was mingling already.

"Hey, San." Noah said as he hugged her. Lauren quickly did the same before they both joined her on the couch.

There was a comfortable silence between the three. Santana didn't mind it. Despite the fact that she'd never admit it, she was glad that they had joined her.

Mike, Tina, Sam, Finn, Rachel, Kurt and Blaine all came up to her and gave their condolences before taking up the seats in one of the rows. Lauren soon excused herself and joined them.

"Your mother showed, I see." Noah said finally.

"Yeah, surprising, huh? She's wasted, too." Santana said with a bitter laugh. Noah just simply put his arm around Santana as she rested her head on his shoulder. "You guys can sing tomorrow." She said after a few moments of silence.

"How'd you know about that?"

"A little birdie told me….." Santana smirked as her attention went to Quinn who was entering the room.

"I'm not surprised…..but thanks, it'll mean a lot to all of us. Everyone's so conflicted about how to help you."

"I don't need any help, Noah. But I'll admit that I'm happy I have you." She said with a light smile as Noah brought his other arm around Santana to hug her.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you two are one adorable couple." Quinn said as she approached the two. Noah and Santana started to genuinely laugh hysterically at Quinn's comment.

"I love Santana…but you know in that whole lesbro kind of way." Noah clarified as he got up and offered Quinn his seat. Before excusing himself, he leaned down to hug Santana once more. She took this as an opportunity to whisper 'I love you' in her friend's ear. He just simply nodded and hugged her tighter before making his way over to the other glee clubbers.

"I saw your niece." Quinn said when Santana looked over at her. "God, she's just the cutest thing…..and the older one is a spitting image of you and your sister."

"Yeah, I'm so sure that's a good thing though. They're going to be heartbreakers and Adam's going to be a stud." Santana said proudly looking at Karissa and Adam.

"So I take it someone explained to Madison?" Quinn asked and Santana just raised her eyebrows. "When she saw us…I mean me, you could just tell from her eyes despite how excited she was."

"Us?" Santana questioned Quinn's slip up.

"You know, the rest of the glee clubbers….." Quinn trailed on hoping Santana would buy it. Santana decided to let it go even though she knew that Quinn arrived a couple of minutes after everyone else.

Santana nodded as she began to look around. Quinn took the time to give Santana's hand a little squeeze. It was at this moment that Santana noticed that Brittany's mother was entering and that Brittany was following closely behind. Madison had seemed to take up a permit residence on Brittany's right leg. Santana smiled at her niece. From the moment Madison met Brittany even at such a young age, she always liked the girl and Santana really couldn't blame her. Her line of sight went up to Brittany for the first time in 5 years. She looked the same. Maybe a little bit older and definitely more mature but everything else was exactly how Santana remembered.

She took a deep breath as Brittany and her mother said their hellos to some people that they passed by.

"Santana, honey." Karen said sympathetically as she approached Santana. Brittany was still a bit behind due to a combination of Madison on her leg and she was addressing the other glee clubbers. This woman had become such a mother figure in Santana's life but now it was almost as if she was a stranger. Santana nodded as she stood up to greet the woman. "I am so sorry, sweetie. God, if there's anything I can do, please let me know."

"Thanks, Karen."

"Hi, Quinn. I can't say it's been long since I've seen you." She said with a little hint of sarcasm being that Quinn was staying at her house. Karen went on to talk to Santana about some things when Brittany finally made her way to the group. She didn't say anything. Instead she just simply looked into Santana's eyes with a sad smile.

Sensing the tension and awkwardness, Karen left to go talk to Alexis. Santana shot Quinn a look as if to warn her that she better not leave. Madison finally detached herself from Brittany's leg and went straight to Quinn.

Just over Brittany's shoulder, Santana could see that everyone from Glee's attention was locked on the reunion of the Unholy Trinity; but even more so, the reunion of Brittany and Santana.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Cliffhanger….hope you all enjoy and I hope you figured out who I'm pairing Santana with. ;p**


	5. Chapter 5

Santana's focus went from the group behind Brittany to the girl herself as she cleared her throat a little. They stared intensely at each other. Brittany's eyes were filled sadness, compassion, confliction and grief while Santana's just merely reflected the word 'why.' Why did her sister and brother in law have to die and why did Brittany have to come? Why did Santana still feel the same way she did whenever Brittany was around her in high school? Why was it that this was what brought them back to each other?

Santana offered a sad smile before she broke their staring match. Quinn and even Madison looked up at the two girls unsure of what was going to happen. And the former New Directions members seemed like they were all one step away from grabbing some popcorn.

Santana looked over and saw that Brittany's mother's attention was focused on them as well. She turned back to see Brittany still looking at her with all those emotions. And before she knew it, Brittany just simply pulled her in for a hug. Santana relaxed into her ex's embrace and it took everything in her not break down as Brittany whispered 'I'm so sorry' into her ear. Santana nodded before she straightened her posture and broke the hug.

"Thanks for coming." She said looking anywhere but at Brittany. Brittany nodded and looked at Quinn who offered her a sympathetic shrug.

"I uh…" Brittany started wanting to say about a thousand different things to her. "If you need anything, please let me know." She offered knowing that now was not the time to think about their past. She needed to be there for Santana. Brittany grabbed Santana's hand and gave it a light squeeze before she excused herself and went over to her mother who was still talking to Alexis. Her gaze was still focused in Santana's direction.

"You okay?" Quinn asked.

"Fine." Santana said. "I'm going outside for a cigarette if Alexis asks." Quinn nodded and let out a sigh as she watched Santana leave.

"Quinnie, why were Aunty S and Brittany so weird to each other?" The girl asked innocently.

"They just haven't seen each other in a while, honey, and it's kind of weird to see someone here."

"Why haven't they seen each other?"

Quinn cursed under her breath at the curiosity of little children as she tried to come up with a reason.

"Well, your Aunty S went to New York while Brittany went to Los Angeles to work so it would have been really hard for them."

"But they love each other, don't they? That's what my mommy used to say…" Madison looked up at Quinn hopefully before she looked over at the pictures of her parents on top of the caskets.

"They did, sweetie…but I don't know. It's very complicated." Quinn offered hoping it would be enough for the little girl. Luckily, she nodded after hearing this and proceeded to tell Quinn how much she liked her earrings.

Outside, Santana had just finished her first cigarette and was lighting up a second one.

"Those can kill you, you know." Santana was startled by the voice.

"Yeah, and so can cars but people still drive." Santana let out bitterly as she faced Brittany's mother.

"Good point." Karen smiled. "I'd ask you how you are doing but I can imagine you are sick of hearing that."

"Yeah, that's for sure."

"I remember when Robert died…you and Brittany had us all put a dollar into a jar every time someone asked that."

Santana smiled at the memory. Brittany's father had died when they were around 10 years old from cancer. "It worked out really well. I think we made about $60 on that and it helped distract her from everything."

"Yeah, it definitely did. Having you helped her a lot." Karen said simply and Santana opened her mouth before shutting it not knowing what to say. "Look I know things are awkward between the two of you. I don't claim to know everything that's happened but I want you to know that my feelings towards you have never changed. You are still as much my daughter as Brittany."

"Thanks, Karen. I appreciate that." She said as she moved towards the woman and hugged her.

"How long are you staying in Lima?" She asked and Santana laughed.

"To be honest, probably no longer than 4 more days."

"Well, if you decide to stay longer or something, stop by for dinner. Brittany doesn't have to be there if you don't want her to."

"I'll let you know. Thanks for the offer." Santana said feeling weird about this whole conversation.

"Well, I have to run but I'll be there tomorrow at the church. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask. Remember that, okay?" Karen said and Santana nodded before they hugged once more.

Santana watched as Karen went towards the parking lot. She took a deep breath before finishing her cigarette and then she returned back inside.

She made her way back to the front of the room and stood next to Alexis who seemed to be eyeing her. Their mother was busy socializing and the two girls just rolled their eyes at the exchanges.

"You okay?" Alexis finally asked as she saw that Santana's gaze never reached the area of the room that was occupied by the New Directions members.

"Yeah. When's the priest getting here?"

"Um, should be any minute now." Santana nodded at the information and less than 5 minutes later they were being introduced to Fr. Richards.

Santana, Alexis and the rest of the family took a seat in the front row as the priest began his speech.

"We are here to mourn the lose of two people. Maria and John's lives were cut tragically short but they certainly made an impact with the time they were given. They leave behind three great children, Karissa, Adam and Madison, who I've had the privilege of getting to know at school functions. It is no doubt in mind that Maria and John have raised great children and with that, their memory will live on….."

He continued on about how they are in a better place with God and all that. Santana tuned out everything at this point because she and religion were something that never really mixed well together. He then mentioned Alexis and Santana and their mother and John's parents despite the fact that they were no longer living. After a few more minutes of talking, the priest offered the floor to the people in the room to recall memories and stories that they've had of the deceased.

Maria and John's friends from high school and college recalled funny and sweet stories of their relationship, Karissa and Adam's friends offered up moments where they were considered the 'cool parents,' and strangers to Santana from the community told of times where the couple volunteered or participated in community events.

Everyone was pretty surprised when Puck stood up. He began to recall the time when Maria convinced him to stay in the Glee club. He had come over to Santana's house one day after school and while Santana was in the shower after a long cheerleading practice, Puck took the time to catch up with Maria. They got to talking and he explained how he really loved being in the club but that it hurt his reputation. She laughed at him and explained that no one would care in 10 years who you were in high school and that she was living proof of that. He took her words to heart and ended up sticking with the club until he graduated.

A couple of more people stood up after Puck and then the priest ended with a prayer. After that was done, the 3-5 viewing had come to an end and people started to clear out of the funeral home. The family along with some close friends decided to head over to the restaurant across the street and eat something before the 7 to 9 wake.

There was maybe about 30 people there and after everyone had finished their meals and were ordering dessert, Santana excused herself for some fresh air. She went up the block a little bit to a small park that she used to practically live in in high school. She sat on a swing and just looked up. She wasn't sure how much time had gone by but her thoughts were soon broken by the sounds of footsteps.

"I figured you'd be here." Brittany approached slowly as she took a seat on one of the swings.

"What are you doing here?"

"I didn't order any dessert so I figured I'd get some air." Brittany offered as she looked ahead of her. "That, and I needed to get away from Rachel." She said with a little laugh and Santana joined in. Both of the girls were very aware of the fact that they were just a few feet away from the place where they had their first kiss back in the 7th grade.

"I see her every so often in New York and I still haven't learned to bring earplugs." She laughed while shaking her head.

"Guess some things never change." Brittany said and with that statement, the atmosphere changed quickly because between the two of them everything had changed. "I was going to say something…" Brittany said and for the first time since in the funeral home, Santana looked directly at her. "When everyone was telling stories before. I was going to but it was hard to choose just one, you know."

"Yeah, I get it."

"I'm sorry."

"For what exactly?" Santana asked and Brittany held her intense stare.

"Everything." She said simply and Santana looked at her for a couple of more moments before turning away.

"I should head back." Santana said and Brittany nodded as they both stood up. They walked in silence back to the restaurant but Brittany grabbed Santana's hand just before they made their way inside.

"What are you doing?" Santana looked at her and Brittany just froze before she pulled her in for another hug.

"I'm just so fucking sorry, Santana, and I want you to know that."

Santana pulled away from her and put as much distance between them as she could.

"Just stop, Brittany. Please…not tonight, probably not any night." She said as she quickly opened the door and headed back inside. Brittany stood there for a few moments before she started to cry. Instead of heading back inside, she just went back to the park. She and Santana had so many memories in that park and the guilt and pain Brittany was feeling became overwhelming as the tears poured down her cheeks. She cried for Maria and John who had been so amazing to her and treated her just like family. She cried for Karissa, Adam and Madison who lost their parents and were just so lost right now. She cried for herself because she was lost too. She made the biggest mistake of her life but letting Santana go and she'd spent the last 5 years trying to work up the courage to tell her that. And lastly, she cried for Santana. The woman who raised her and who she was closest with was dead and to top it all off, Brittany being there wasn't making anything better.

After awhile, Brittany looked at her phone and realized that the 7 o clock wake was starting soon. She took a deep breath and walked back to the funeral home. When she got inside, she sat next to Quinn who asked her what happened. Brittany didn't answer; instead, her focus stayed on Santana who was talking to Madison on the couch in the front of the room.

"I don't like being here." Madison said to Santana who just nodded.

"I know, sweetie."

"Can I stay with you tonight?"

"Well, I'm staying with Noah and Lauren…but I'm sure they wouldn't mind having you there."

"Why didn't you stay with Aunt Alexis? Is it because she talks so much?"

"That's exactly why, kid." Santana said with a smile.

"How come you didn't stay with Brittany?" Madison said looking over at the girl. "Quinnie said that you two haven't seen each other in awhile."

"Yeah, it's been a long time."

"How long?"

"About 5 years." Santana said with a sad smile and her niece's face scrunched up.

"But mommy said you two loved each other…and then she said that she was never wrong."

"Well, she's right. We did love each other…but it's complicated."

"That's what Quinnie said, too."

"Remember all those boys that Karissa brought home to meet your parents?" Santana said and Madison nodded. "Well, it's kind of like that. Now those boys aren't around because Karissa realized that they weren't the ones for her. And some things happened and Brittany and I realized that we weren't for each other. I know you like Brittany and just because she and I aren't together anymore doesn't mean you can't still like her, okay?"

"Okay. But Aunty S, she keeps looking over here."

"She's looking at you, kid, because I'm sure she's missed seeing you just as much as I have."

"Really?"

"Of course." Santana said with a smile as the girl hugged her. She then looked up and noticed some surprising faces entering the funeral home. "Why don't you go over to your sister for a bit, okay?" Madison nodded and then rushed over to her older sister.

Santana walked over to the area right next to where Brittany, Quinn and the rest were sitting. She stopped and hugged the three people that just entered the room.

"What are you guys doing?" She said genuinely taken aback by the presence of her three closest friends from New York.

"San, we're so sorry." James said into her ear as they pulled apart.

"The boss told us and we had to come see you immediately." Jenna said pulling Santana into a hug.

"You guys really didn't have to come." Santana said as she hugged her final friend, Christian.

"We wanted to be here for you…" Jenna said as she placed her hand on Santana's arm. Santana didn't say anything. She just nodded thankfully towards her co-workers and friends as they decided to take a seat in one of the rows.

"When did you guys get here?" She asked.

"Um, we landed a few hours ago…" Christian said. "We have a flight tomorrow afternoon." He added.

"We know the mass is tomorrow….s, we're sorry we can't stay but…." Jenna stated before Santana cut her off.

"No, no. Don't be, guys. Look I'm just thankful you guys are here. It's just what I needed." She said genuinely as the three shook their heads. They went on to talk for a little while. Santana was just kind of telling them who everyone was and letting them know where good places to go and eat were during their short trip to Lima. After a couple of moments, Madison innocently walked up to Santana and her coworkers. She tugged lightly at Santana's arm and this caught her attention.

"Hey, sweetie." She smiled before taking her niece into her lap. "Madison, these are some of my friends from New York. Christian, Jenna and James." She said pointing to the individuals. "This is my niece."

"You are just the cutest thing ever." James said as the other agreed. Madison smiled before she hugged Santana.

"Aunty S, I think Aunt Alexis wants you…I think she told me to go get you but I stopped listening when she started talking…."

"She is definitely your niece, San." Christian teased.

"Ok, I'll go see her…and you are going to have to start listening to her eventually." Santana smiled before getting up. She placed Madison down on the chair. "Are you coming with me or staying here?"

"Staying here." She smiled. Madison always loved hanging with the adults and Santana knew that the girl probably wanted to ask her friends about New York.

"Ok. Excuse me, guys." She said and the three smiled politely at her.

"You're really pretty." Santana heard Madison say to Jenna before focusing her attention on Christian.

On the other side of the room, Brittany's focus had been solely on the group's interaction. Her eyes followed Santana as she got up.

"Is she dating her?" She mumbled under her breath. At this point, she realized that Quinn was calling her and almost definitely heard her say that.

"Brittany?" Quinn said as she nudged her.

"I'm sorry…what were you guys saying?"

"We were just talking about tomorrow. San said it was cool if we sang at the funeral." Noah said and Brittany just nodded.

"Any thoughts on songs, Britt?" Rachel asked with a small tint of a smile.

"Rachel asking for song suggestions?" Brittany teased with raised eyebrows.

"I take offense to that….I have matured since high school. And besides, if anyone should pick the song, it should be you." She added the last part with a shrug. Brittany looked around at everyone to gauge their reactions. They all seemed to agree, except for Kurt and Quinn, which Brittany understood.

"I think Noah should." Brittany said and he immediately shook his head.

"Britt, I'm about to bring up the giant elephant in the room…yeah, you screwed Santana over and broke her heart. And yeah, most of us still are a bit pissed at you but needless to say, you know Santana more than all of us. Even me. So if you have one, just let us know." Noah said as everyone shifted uncomfortably in their seats and Brittany looked down at her hands as her eyes started to brim with tears. She regained her composure and her thoughts when she realized that the attention was on her.

"Um, yeah. I have a song." She said and the group agreed to the choice. It was obvious Rachel was going to sing most of it with the group joining in at the choruses. No one objected to that and egos didn't get in the way like they did in high school.

The rest of night went by pretty quickly. It was just a bit before 9 and most of the people had left. There was about 10 or so (not including family and the Glee clubbers) still in the funeral home.

"Alexis." Santana called over to her sister as they went into an area where no one else really was. "I spoke to Karissa and Adam a little while ago. I think they are going to stay with friends tonight…."

"Santana, what? They can't…."

"I'm asking for your permission about it…I'm telling you. Look, they are kids…they need their friends."

"No, they need their family…."

"They have us, Alexis. But they don't need us down their throats…they don't need constant reminders of their dead parents or people asking if they are okay every two seconds. This is how they want to deal with this…which is a hell of a lot more than either of us can say…"

"Is that why you are at Noah's?"

"My god, Alexis. I told you already why I was there. You have enough people at your house. It is nothing personal but I'm just not used to having that many people near me."

"We all grieve differently, Santana. Excuse me, for being a little taken aback when something like this happens and we aren't together for it."

"Look, like you said…everyone grieves differently. You should know how I am by now….and I know that the two of us have had our differences in the past but I wouldn't use this as an opportunity to bring those times up."

"Ok. You're right…I know how you are. I guess you and I have always been opposites." Santana laughed at this. Talking to Alexis was so foreign to Santana and especially to this Alexis. She just wished it didn't have to happen because of Maria's death.

"I'm gonna take Madison to Noah's with me tonight." Santana added in.

Alexis took a deep breath as if she was about to argue but she then released it. "Okay."

"I just figured you should be with your husband and kids….." Santana added mainly because she figured that in a couple of days, Alexis would have to take in Maria's kids anyway.

"It's fine, San. I do need to be with them and besides, I know Madison adores you. She's missed you so much these last couple of months." She said and Santana looked guilty. "Can I ask you something? And you don't have to answer if you don't want to and we could just get right back in there."

"Yea, sure."

"Are you okay with her being here? I know we've never talked about it….but I know she hurt you."

Santana let out a big sigh before she smiled. "I'm not okay with any of us being here…but I guess since we are, I'd rather her than mom. And we've got both…so I guess everything just sucks."

"Yeah, it does." Alexis simply said as the two went back into the main area. By this point, almost no one was remained. Their mother had disappeared somewhere. Adam's best friend and Karissa's best friend were still there. Santana's work friends and the glee clubbers and a few of Alexis's closest were there as well.

James, Jenna and Christian soon said their goodbyes. Santana genuinely thanked them for showing up and they apologized again for not being able to make the funeral. She rolled her eyes before she gave them some directions on how to get to their hotel. A couple of minutes later, Adam and Karissa approached Santana to let her know that they were heading out. Santana smiled at them before hugging each. She was genuinely so happy that they had friends like the two that they were staying with. She knew with a family like theirs friends were all they truly had. As she thought that, Santana's focus went to her old friends. The ones she abandoned and the ones who stayed every moment of each of the two wakes. She sighed before heading over to them.

"Thanks guys for coming." She said awkwardly. Everyone's attention went to her but she felt Brittany's gaze the most.

"Of course, San." Noah said before he got up and hugged her. Lauren followed next.

"We've chosen a song, San…." Rachel said. "If it's okay, we'd like to keep it a secret though."

"Yeah, that's fine. I appreciate the offer. So thanks Kurt for suggesting it. Um, I guess you all should probably come to the church early or something so that they can tell you when to go up during the mass." She said and everyone nodded. After that, everyone hugged Santana goodbye. Noah and Lauren waited around since she was going with them. Brittany was the last to approach Santana.

"Um…" She said clearing her throat. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow…" She said really awkwardly and Santana just nodded. Noah and Lauren looked on. "I uh, hope you like the song…I mean Rachel's singing most of it so I'm sure you'll love that." She said sarcastically with a smirk and it died down when she read Santana's face.

"I'm sure it'll be good…."

"Yea. Well, um…goodnight." She said in a rush before she leaned in to hug Santana. "If you need anything, please let me know." She whispered in her year. It was different from when she had said it before and Santana noticed it. After they parted, Brittany said a quick goodbye to Noah and Lauren before exiting the home.

"Well, that was awkward." Santana said breaking the tension a bit. Noah nodded and Lauren's face was as if she was saying 'duh.' "Oh, I hope you don't mind but can Madison stay with me tonight?"

"Yeah, of course." Noah said as their focus went to the little girl on the couch in the front. Santana thanked them before going to get her. She then went over to Alexis and arranged some plans for the following morning.

Madison fell asleep in her arms as they made their way to Noah's car. And drove away in a somewhat comfortable silence given everything that was going on.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**I am officially the worst writer ever. I've let all my stories go waaaay too long without updates. I apologize and I hope that you all enjoy this update. I promise that next chapter of this one is going to be verrrrry good ;]**

**Ps: how are you all holding up during the Glee hiatus? Haha it's torture. **


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